Little by little it appeared, not unlike an approaching dark storm cloud…
Uneasiness was settling on my chest. There were no other signs to decipher the reason of this gloom. As the days went by, I became more & more certain that I did not have much more time left.
A hacking cough did not improve over the weeks…
The foreboding feeling kept intensifying as I was waiting for the other shoe to drop…
But, I bargained, I was not ready, yet!
A silent laugh answered… Is anyone ever?
I decided to ignore everything else and keep tending to the task: I had a show coming up in October and I was running short of time. The theme I first chose simply did not bite me; it became a hindrance in developing my paintings as someone commented: ”wow, you can paint this for a lifetime…”
I heard that!
So, I examined this dark uncertainty: Definitely, something was changing... But what and in what way? A little help from my dictionary/Thesaurus, I settled on one meaning I felt hit the spot: “Transition is change by one form, one place or state to another, especially in a natural, regular or orderly way (from youth to adulthood, etc.)”.
I’ve never felt “old” before! Suddenly, old age was so close I could touch it.
The truth was, there were telltale signs, but I could always explain why I would postpone some task:
“Tomorrow is another day”. Then came the silent reply: “Is there?”
As I looked around, I saw the world changing, crumbling, becoming something different, and amazingly new. I even painted some of those effects with more or less success.
Now, however, they fit into this new concept like hand in glove. I found my theme.
Visiting sections of the Natchez Trace gave museum-like examples of transition through the ages along with the seasonal colors, textures. Just three weeks later, though, the spring foliage was hiding it all from view. Yet, I knew, the changes kept going on. Not always the same way, but constantly; and if I don’t get to see them next time around, others will…
I was inspired by this concept, especially since I recognized its validity everywhere.
The landscape, itself, was also challenging, along with the colors and textures, but I was most interested in expressing the concept not the exact number of trees, rocks or even the colors I saw.
A new experience for me and I am grateful for this timely gift.
Now, the cough is easing; I may even get a reprieve to deal with my “bucket list”.
Time became more precious than ever and I am more aware of it.